I used to be sure of what I like. I used to be sure of who I am. I have always been attracted to strong, powerful, masterful, dominant men. That makes me submissive, right? Therefore, I must be a sub.
But I am bossy. I like to be the one who organizes things, to have power, to be in control. I like to play games and to tease. Not very subby!
According to Wikipedia, “Dominance and submission (also called D&s, Ds, and D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals involving the giving by one individual to another individual of control over them in an erotic episode or as a lifestyle.” That definition sounds pretty accurate to me, but it doesn’t seem to describe who I am, how I feel and what I do. I don’t give up the control; I want it to be taken. After all, how can I know that he’s really dominant, masterful and strong – rather than a wannabe – if I just give him permission to dominate me?
Perhaps there’s a different name for that. Is there a word for a girl who is dominant, but doesn’t want to dominate? A girl who is dominant, but is excited by men who are far more dominant than she is?
When I was in my late teens I knew a Goth couple. The guy was incredibly sexy and always wore black leather something. The girl was delicious in her long, flowing skirts and amazing jewelry. One day they showed me some photos they’d had taken in various sexy poses. I can still remember one of those photos today. She was handcuffed, at his knees, gazing up at him while he looked sternly down at her, a black leather whip in his hands. Continue reading »
